Added: Kimberle Danna - Date: 19.06.2021 17:59 - Views: 21945 - Clicks: 1689
After a decade of being hated, humiliated, and ostracized because of my body, having it appreciated and viewed as sexy was disarming and somehow felt safe. Skip ! Story from Sex. Get it? It was pretty much my job to perform bizarre stunts, and to allow myself and my weight to be the butt of the joke on-air.
Let me explain. Naturally, this made great material for the show. We interviewed an Italian guy named Manuel who said I had the most beautiful body he'd ever seen. There was also the guy who called in to tell us about a "bash" that was being held exclusively for fat women and their admirers. Their admirers? I thought at the time. Despite enjoying the radio fodder, I felt confused and turned off by this attention.
At this point, it was still hard for me to believe that there were men out there who actually preferred fat women. But then I heard from a man named Matt. At over six feet, with a perfectly muscled body and smooth, dark skin, he was not the typical man who messaged me online asking me out. He made no mention of sex or other inappropriate suggestions; he seemed smart, and our conversation flowed easily. After some back-and-forth, I asked him how he found the video. Soon, I found myself on a thread devoted entirely to me. At first, I just felt utter surprise and disgust.
It reminded me of high school, when I was small enough to be conventionally pretty. Stoplights were filled with catcalls and suggestive flicks of the tongue above car windows rolled halfway down. The weight I had gained since then had afforded me a certain amount of protection from this kind of harassment; instead, I was used to being harassed for being fat. One Saturday night around this time, my best friend Donna and I got home from a wedding, and we were starving; neither of us had eaten at the wedding, so upon discovering some leftovers in the fridge we were giddy.
When Matt texted me and asked what I was eating, I sent him a picture of the mashed potatoes, meatloaf, and broccoli casserole we were devouring.
I responded honestly and without thinking. He was turned on! Against all my better judgment and my instinct to shut all of this down, I was This was weird. But then why did it kind of feel good? I had been, for 10 years at that point, the stereotypical girl eating only a salad on the first date, afraid that eating normally would only make me seem fatter.
With Matt, it was completely the opposite. Matt would later call in to the radio to explain his attraction to me. He described my bouncing belly, my jiggling thighs, the overall vastness of my body, and how there were unlimited areas to explore. When Matt said I was soft, it took on a different meaning.
There was no connotation of weakness.
He eroticized every part of my body; each fold of fat multiplied pleasure, and he was as excited by love handles as he was by breasts. As weird as this was for me at first, it showed me that feeling beautiful is important.
Beauty is subjective and always will be, but when we feel attractive, it impacts the way we go about our lives. Was it my personality that drew them in? Was it my pretty face that made me attractive enough? Ultimately, Matt and I stopped talking because he lived too far away, but I went on to dabble in the fat fetish community a little longer. I even ed up for a dating website for fat admirers.
But I was sorely disappointed. I would start talking to a guy who seemed cool, only to have him skip straight from his favorite color to his desire to strap me to a bed and force-feed me ice cream. In the end, I realized a relationship with a self-identified fat fetishizer was not the solution. I couldn't get down with a man's desire to control me or manipulate my body for his pleasure.
Having a man say he was mostly interested in my belly was no different than when I was thin and knowing a man was mostly interested in my body. Buy the book here. We were sitting at a terrazzo-to. Shortly after I moved to L. She brought a housewarming gift with her: a ta.
Some people stuck to video and. In our new, post-vaccine world which, reminder, is not the same thing as a post-COVID worldmany people have started traveling again, socializing again. I thought I took my virginity when I masturbated for the first time. I was When I was done, I squirmed back into my clothes, zipped my shame back into.Ssbbw for massage pay attention
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What Being Fetishized Taught Me About Loving My Fat Body